Keiran Shea's Journal

5:03pm: I hate school functions...
Stupid Headmaster decided there would be a ball tonight. Some rot about having the Houses getting along together in this time of blah blah blah, whatever. So, against my wishes, I'm being forced to attend. How exciting.

There will be food; I can always eat food. This, I suppose, is a good thing, as I've only eaten a quick lunch today, and am rather ravenous. This, of course, still does not make up for the fact that I'm being forced into going to this thing.

Sometimes I really hate my life.

-=Keiran=-

2:28pm: House pride
In a moment of weakness, I allowed myself to laugh. A second year botched up a charm, and turned his hair bright green. It was amusing, and I laughed, just the smallest hint of a noise, but a laugh nonetheless.

Could it be that I am becoming weak? Certainly not...Everyone must let an emotion slip every now and again, even if it is fake. It gives some semblance of life. Without emotions, we all may as well have gotten the Kiss.

However, we must all hide emotions behind masks. If we were to display them for all to see, we'd be no better than those Mudblood Gryffindors.

I love being Slytherin.

-=Keiran=-

12:15pm: Mmm, Azkaban fodder...
There comes a time in every young man's life where he says 'to hell wih this all,' and comes very close to going completely into hibernation.

Now would be a lovely time to do this.

Being alone is nice. Being 'with' someone is nice. Is there a middle ground without coming off looking like a slut? Not that it really matters anyway; most people call me the Slytherin Slut as it is. Very kind of them, really. I suppose I *have* earned it... When I'm not dragging lovely young things into my bed I'm either plotting to or making eyes at someone else.

So then, am I bad? Surely not, or, at least, not in the way that most people try to see me. So what if I'm Slytherin, or if I enjoy the occasional...err, 'romp in the rice', as one of the Weasley twins so eloquently put it. As a teenaged male, I believe thatit is rather...well. Why do something for yoursef when you can have someone else do it for you?

There was a Quidditch game today. I highly doubt that anyone honestly cared that I was absent. I had more important thing to do. Reading, sleeping, breaking things in a calm fit of rage...anything that wasn't Quidditch. Terrible thing, team sports. Any sport, really. Call me a pouffe, but I find it all to be so... Owling my dead grandfather would be more interesting.

The mirror Father sent up for my last birthday has been telling me how lovely I've grown agin. Am thinking of having the glass removed.

-=Keiran=-

1:51pm: Grr
The past week has been possibly one of the worst weeks I can remember. Being sick puts a very large damper on one's plans for...well, anything, really.

I missed three days of class, meaning a *very* important test that luckily the professor is allowing me to make up on Monday. Not that it really matters-- I have taken less time to study for it than I should have. No time, actually, which may not be the smartest thing I've done recently.

Found a lovey book about a world on a disc... It seems to be taking up more time than studies. Well, I wasn't put into Ravenclaw, so I'm allowed not to study on occasion, right? Unfortunately, I have not had the chance to catch up on some much-needed sleep. Really, one would think that beign confined to one's bed for several days would allow for some sleep. Perhaps I should have stayed in the Hospital Wing--at least then I could have gotten a bit of rest. And free chocolate.

My Housemates, darlings that they are, decided that, though I was feeling much better at the time, they didn't need to invite me along to Hogsmeade yesterday. I shall have to remember this in the future. Time for dinner now... Dear Salazar, I hate the way this school runs on that Muggle-lover's schedule. Am greatly looking forward to Yule break, when I can return to my own schedule.

-=Keiran=-

12:07pm: mmmmm, murder....
Ah, life....it's a wonderful thing, isn't it? Am currently in the mood to put someone out of my misery...possibly myself. Housemates getting increasingly annoying by the day. This may be result of living so far below ground... That, or possibly the house elves have been slipping something into the pumpkin juice.

Am concidering asking for a transfer to Ravenclaw. They, unlike Slytherins, do not open their mouths except for feeding. ...And possibly for sex.

-=Keiran=-

{{grr...some stupid bitch-girl keeps trying to kiss *my* girlfriend! And...I'm currently on the east cost, and can't do a thing about it! Must...kill.....}}

11:34am: Annoying....
Aah...Sometimes I wish there was one single button that I could push to wipe out all of existance.

Not only are the people of the other Houses bothersome, my own Housemates are getting worse and worse. Draco seems to have mistaken my 'charming' sarcasm for flirting. Stupid boy. If he's going to be that way.... Perhaps I should tell him there's a lovely young boy up on the roof of the Asronomy Tower waiting for him....

It wouldn't be my fault if he...slipped....and fell... ::chuckles softly::

Now I remember why I like playing with the little Gryffindors...they don't try to bite back when you kick them out of your bed after one night.

-=Keiran=-

1:03pm: lovely....
D.M.~

Do you think of me?
Do you lie in bed at night, curtains tightly shut, teeth clenched just as tightly?
While your hands slowly wander down your thighs, are you thinking of me?
Are you hurting me in your head as you pleasure yourself?
Do you close your eyes and see my face?
Do you want me?
Will you muffle my name in a pillow when you come?
Does it hurt?
Do your hands come away sticky with mingled blood and seamen?
Or are those your tears that stain the covers red?

Hurt me.
Fuck me.
Hate me.
Leave me.
Love me.

In that order.

~H.P.


~*~*~*~
Isn't it interesting, what you can find laying around inside a Potions text?

-=Keiran=-



{{taken from a bloody lovely fic. Yeah.}}

11:56am: Stupid Potter
I hate to admit it, even to myself...but I'm a bit scared.

Where is my life going? What will become of me once I graduate Hogwarts? Will I become a Death Eater, like Father wants me to? Maybe...though not for his reasons. I don't want to follow Voldemort--I'd rather have people following me.

Being a Dark Wizard is all fine and good, you kow, but...what if, say, I tried to become the next Dark Lord....and failed? How miserable life would be.

Perhaps...a professor here? We've gone through as many DADA teachers as years I've been here. But, really, what would I be doing, teaching that class? Though, I suppose...what better way to teach than from experiance, right? And there is no better experiance than having Unforgivables cast on yourself and surviving. Not the Killing Curse, of course... Only the Potter brat has done that.

He needs to die. Not because he's good..just because he annoys the hell out of me. And he's Gryffindor. I hate Gryffindors almost as much as I hate females.

Note to myself: Find a better picture. The current one is entirely too...Gryffindor-ish.

-=Keiran=-

11:19am: Hmmmmm....
Another day, another entry. It's not required to write every day, but Uncle Sev--err, Professor Snape said it would be good. Maybe I'll write more than that, just to show up everyone else.

Severus isn't my real uncle, you know...but he knows my father (through their 'other business') and I've known him almost all of my life. He's a good man...if a bit greasy. It's a Charm though, that he puts on his hair; makes it resistant to flame and acid, but makes it look as if he hasn't showered in weeks.

In all truth, if he would only take that Charm off his hair once in a while, and perhaps stop...looming...he'd be really quite attractive. I've seen girls whispering over him, and even a few of the other boys taking glances when no one is looking.

But I'm looking. I'm always looking.

-=Keiran=-

11:03am: So far, so good...
I have thusfar been able to stay away from people, barring classes, of course. Breakfast was skipped in favour of sleep, and lunch was taken in the kitchens after everyone else ate.

I've decided that this school has entirely too many Gryffindors. This displeases me to no end. Also, far too many females. Where are all the lovely boys that used to be here? Graduated, I suppose...

If those Weasley twins weren't so...Gryffindor...I might have to have a go at them. However...the young Finnigan boy seems to have a bit of promise... I *have* always liked the Irish accent... I will have to look into this further... He's a bit young...Draco's year, you know... but it's really never too early to start.

Despite everything...I feel a bit lonely with only my little snake, Zane, for company....

-=Keiran=-

3:35pm: Stupid Muggle things...
So...school, again. How wonderful.

There are many new people...It's a bit frightening, I must admit. All Prefects are required to keep a journal of some sort this year...something about helping our psyche, whatever that is. Seems like a silly idea, if you ask me.

I suppose I'm glad to be back... At least now I won't have to see Mother whining and simpering all the time. Now I just have to put up with the Slytherin girls whining and simpering all the time.

Damn..what I wouldn't give for a nice boy right about now...

-=Keiran=-

{{OOC: Hee~ This Journal is now being taken over and used completely for RPing. ^^ Other stuff goes to 'deadjournal.com/~KeiranShea'. Yay.}}